"Don Happened"
Words by Tom McGinnity
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When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. When you die, you rejoice, and the world cries. - Native American proverb
Kind of the circle of life reflection. One way of processing the events of the past several weeks. Yet, there might be another perspective to reflect on Don’s passing. Dr. Seuss put it this way:
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Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.
So, let’s go there. Because, Don “happened” to us, all 88+ years of him!! 😊
Now what I share in my comments may not be new to you, but will hopefully reinforce what you already know about your husband, father, grandfather, great grandfather, cousin and friend. And most of the reflections and recollections occur during the Steuben Middle School chapter—certainly one of Don’s greatest successes and a snapshot representative of so much of Don’s life.
So, this is how Don “happened” to me. I have known Don almost 50 years. First as a student teacher at Mckinley in 1972, then as a teacher at Mckinley, then as a teacher at Steuben. And, mostly as a treasured friend. I watched him closely over those formative years of my career. How he worked with people—students, parents, staff, and central office staff. Early stages of desegregation. Very dicey times. Emotions ran high. Never saw him flustered. Always confident. He made people feel safe.
I admired how he kept his cool. And how innovative he was. How humble he was. How he trusted staff to do what was in the best interest of children after he modeled that time and time again for students and staff.
Two quotes come to mind when I think of Don’s professional life that oftentimes carried over into other aspects of his life:
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Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right thing. Peter Drucker
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The mediocre principal tells; the good principal explains; the superior principal demonstrates; the great principal inspires. -William Arthur Ward
You don’t have to take only my word on this, however. Here are some recollections of people who also had
Don “happen” to them. Listen for the qualities referenced in the two previous quotes: (wayne, rosemary, scott, eddie, Maggie, crystal, sheran, judy)
You can be the judge for yourself in terms of the kind of principal Don was. And, what makes these tributes even more impressive is that Don has been retired from Steuben for over 30 years! And, still, people cherish having known him and treasure his gifts that he shared with them.
Frequently, Don reflected on his life well lived. And, this is how I learned how Don “happened” to many of you. He was so proud of each of you. Loved to share the latest chapters in each of your lives. Loved the blended family gatherings and how well everyone got along. Beamed at the mention of his grandchildren and great grandchildren. So thoroughly enjoyed the past 20+ years with Sue at his side. He was so grateful for all with which he had been blessed.
Please close your eyes for a moment. Bring to mind several memories of Don that bring joy to you. Hold on to them. When I do this, I remember:
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Living in the cottage on North Lake for a year and getting my first opportunity to try sailing on the butterfly.
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Don & I would exchange birthday cards for most of the past 50 years. His birthday on Sept 10, mine on Oct 10.
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I got my love of tennis from him.
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How Maggie and I loved playing cards with him and Sue.
And, now to all of you present, your assignment. You are requested to fill in the many gaps of memories of your husband, father, grandfather, great grandfather, cousin. ( I’ve heard bits and pieces of summers in Madison, North Carolina, etc. and his life as a butcher and Sunday school superintendent. ) And there is no timeline for when this assignment is due. I expect the sharing of Don “happened” stories will last at least for the rest of your lives.
In closing, I would like to share this quote that I think Don would appreciate:
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The song is ended, but the melody lingers on. - Irving Berlin
Goodbye, my friend. I love you. I will miss you.